God's Equipping in the Uncertainties

Many have asked me, “So what’s ahead?” And my usual answer is, “I don’t have a clue.” God has given me the privilege of a year to work through my grief and prepare for the future. I’m praying for his guidance and for preparation both of my heart and in practical skills, and I saw a specific answer to that prayer in Ethiopia.

Background: Over the course of Steve’s illness, I found I lost my ability to memorize scripture. It just would not stick in my brain, so I continued my through-the-Bible reading and dug deep into the Psalms and prayer. Oddly, just two weeks after Steve transferred to heaven, I realized my mind was clear, and I could memorize again. I felt desperate for a renewed vision of ministry, because for 36 years we've been a team, serving together was our DNA as a couple. What would ministry look like now? How could I even look forward it? 

For this reason, I chose 2 Corinthians 2:14-6:10. I finished memorizing it in mid-September, by the end of my trip out east. I've been meditating on it nearly daily since that time. When I arrived in Ethiopia, I found out that John Piper and Jason Meyer were speaking at a conference hosted by ETC (Evangelical Theological College where Steve taught). I debated about going since I had so many people to see in three short weeks, but in the end I decided that I might meet up with many of Steve's former students and that maybe God was blessing me with a spiritual retreat. 

I didn't know what their topic was until Jason Meyer announced in the first session that they would be covering 2 Corinthians chapters 1-5. I couldn't hold back the tears - God is intent on equipping me. He really wants me to get this passage! I still don't know what is ahead, but God is clearly at work getting me ready for his surprise package. Thank you for praying for my future - God is answering!