Thirty-Seven Years Ago Today...

I was a bride.

Knowing I would leave home early this morning for Charleston, I set aside time the last few evenings to reminisce through college scrapbooks, diary excerpts, love letters and our wedding photos. I chuckled through the relational maneuvering of two strong-willed first-borns on a small college campus (yes, I'll admit I was the more stubborn of the two). I lingered over the tender expressions of early love. I delighted in the network of friends that multiplied crazy-fun memories. And I thanked God for the over-the-top joy we shared with family and friends as we made our covenant of love and faithfulness on December 18, 1976.

It hasn't been a tear-less day, but God's grace-gifts have lifted my spirits. The first came on the two hour plane trip here. I read through The Revelation - yea, not exactly cheerful reading material. But it strengthened me to read again that GOD WINS! The King returns in power and glory, and we'll never again know tears, pain, suffering or death. And yes, I will once again know the over-the-top joy of being a bride.

The second gift came after a delicious enchilada dinner David prepared for Ryan and me. The three of us took off for the beach and got there just in time to watch a spectacular pumpkin-orange moon rise over the ocean. I was shivering with cold, but stood transfixed as the rising moon slowly created a shimmering path from the horizon to the beach, glowing increasingly white as it ascended. God's creative glory on display left little room for sad thoughts.

So I go to sleep tonight with happy thoughts of being a bride, both in the past and in the glorious days to come!

God's Equipping in the Uncertainties

Many have asked me, “So what’s ahead?” And my usual answer is, “I don’t have a clue.” God has given me the privilege of a year to work through my grief and prepare for the future. I’m praying for his guidance and for preparation both of my heart and in practical skills, and I saw a specific answer to that prayer in Ethiopia.

Background: Over the course of Steve’s illness, I found I lost my ability to memorize scripture. It just would not stick in my brain, so I continued my through-the-Bible reading and dug deep into the Psalms and prayer. Oddly, just two weeks after Steve transferred to heaven, I realized my mind was clear, and I could memorize again. I felt desperate for a renewed vision of ministry, because for 36 years we've been a team, serving together was our DNA as a couple. What would ministry look like now? How could I even look forward it? 

For this reason, I chose 2 Corinthians 2:14-6:10. I finished memorizing it in mid-September, by the end of my trip out east. I've been meditating on it nearly daily since that time. When I arrived in Ethiopia, I found out that John Piper and Jason Meyer were speaking at a conference hosted by ETC (Evangelical Theological College where Steve taught). I debated about going since I had so many people to see in three short weeks, but in the end I decided that I might meet up with many of Steve's former students and that maybe God was blessing me with a spiritual retreat. 

I didn't know what their topic was until Jason Meyer announced in the first session that they would be covering 2 Corinthians chapters 1-5. I couldn't hold back the tears - God is intent on equipping me. He really wants me to get this passage! I still don't know what is ahead, but God is clearly at work getting me ready for his surprise package. Thank you for praying for my future - God is answering! 

Ethiopia in Retrospect

My plan was to update this journal each week while in Ethiopia, but my opportunities to connect to the internet were few and when available, short-lived. So, rather than give you the mother-load, I'll write this in mini-series form.

Some things never change...

All my travel went smoothly. I settled into my small, attic-story, SIM guesthouse apartment, rested a short while and then took off on foot to see some of the city (huffing a bit at 7500 feet). I'm amazed at the changes even since we were here 2+ years ago. The entrepreneurial spirit is ALIVE(!): new restaurants, hotels, hundreds of new apartment blocks and condominiums, vastly improved roads and even a light rail system, expected to be in operation in less than 2 years. It's hard for me to recognize areas of town because my landmarks no longer exist.

But in all the changes, I've been blessed to find that many things have not changed: generous hospitality, the warm cheek to cheek greetings, the priority of relationships, and the deep and loyal love of friends. These treasures have filled my heart in these weeks. Connections over coffee and unhurried conversations over meals kept me hopping on taxis all over the city. It has been as important for our friends to grieve with me as for me to grieve with them. And teary eyes gave way to smiles as I pulled Steve-stories out of them.

A memorable time of story-telling came one evening during my first week when the Kale Heywot Church Central Office (denominational headquarters) invited me to a lovely dinner and time of honoring Steve. The tributes/memories ranged from Steve's impact in the classroom to his response to loudly snoring hotel-mates at conferences. A few days later, I spoke during their chapel hour and  stories and words of encouragement and exhortation again spilled over me. Each time they prayed passionately for God's comfort and guidance as I move forward.

I shared with them the impact their lives had on us. It was watching the Ethiopian church walk through the pain-filled years of communism that changed Steve and I. Christians had no political power, no social standing, no human resource to bring relief, but they knew their God was sovereign over all. God wove into the fabric of our souls their model of dependent prayer and faith through great trials, and unquestionably their example impacted how we walked through this last year and half of life-with-cancer.

God is so worthy of my awe and never-ceasing joy - his masterful formation of the Body of Christ brings life-changing interdependence even across cultures! Bless the Lord, O my soul!

Singing a Prayer of My Heart

Wednesday night I slipped into the church sanctuary alone and practiced the song below, then sat down in the pew where we usually sat. I wept as I looked up at the platform where he used to sit adding rich brass tones to our congregational singing. I grieved that on Sunday when I finished my solo, I would not come down to sit with him, have him reach over and squeeze my hand and whisper, "Good job." But I also gave thanks: for a husband who loved to worship, who shared many wonderful music ministry moments with me, who encouraged and taught me. And I thanked God that he wasn't finished using me in service for him and asked that as I sang this prayer on Sunday, he would edify this Body of Christ which has so lavishly loved me. To God's glory alone, I was able to sing with a steady voice throughout. It expresses my heart.

Jesus, Draw me every nearer,
As I labor through the storm,
You have called me to this passage,
And I'll follow, though I'm worn.

Chorus
May this journey bring a blessing,
May I rise on wings of faith,
And at the end of my heart's testing,
With Your likeness, let me wake.

Jesus, guide me through the tempest,
Keep my spirit stayed and sure,
When the midnight meets the morning,
Let me love You even more.  Chorus

Let the treasures of the trial
Form within me as I go,
And at the end of this long passage,
Let me leave them at your throne.   Chorus

Keith and Kristyn Getty