God's Mercies When I'm a Mess
The second weekend in December was a busy one...
lengthy Saturday choir rehearsal,
wedding of seminary-grad friends,
wedding reception chock-full of catch-me-up visits,
early rise on Sunday for choir warm-up and trio practice,
Sunday morning Christmas program - uplifting worship!
I felt so blessed, but...
I was spent. Each event had both filled me and drained me. I walked into my empty house and in minutes I was mess. While I ate, I grabbed a book on grief, hoping it would steer my thoughts aright. No help. I took a nap. No improvement. I took a long, hard walk, praying and crying as I circled the park.
I wanted very much to get to our community Bible study group's Christmas event that night. It had been seven weeks since I'd shared fellowship with them. Steve taught this group for almost two years, and they have loved us so faithfully and tenderly. I didn't want to miss being with them. But I was decidedly not ready to engage in a frolicky-fun Christmas party. I returned home from my walk, looked at my watch and plopped in the lazy boy. "Lord, you have fifteen minutes to pull me together and change my outlook, otherwise I stay home."
And God, in tender mercy, did it!
In those fifteen minutes, I picked up that grief book, read a short chapter, God gave me some insights and then to my amazement, he completely lifted the oppressive sorrow. I jumped up, made my appetizer and headed off to the party. The carol singing and fellowship and crazy elephant gift exchange (complete with shared memories of Steve and his competitiveness at previous exchanges!) kept my spirit smiling. I didn't frolic, but this loving group, who also misses Steve, drew me into the joy of the season.
The second weekend in December was a busy one...
lengthy Saturday choir rehearsal,
wedding of seminary-grad friends,
wedding reception chock-full of catch-me-up visits,
early rise on Sunday for choir warm-up and trio practice,
Sunday morning Christmas program - uplifting worship!
I felt so blessed, but...
I was spent. Each event had both filled me and drained me. I walked into my empty house and in minutes I was mess. While I ate, I grabbed a book on grief, hoping it would steer my thoughts aright. No help. I took a nap. No improvement. I took a long, hard walk, praying and crying as I circled the park.
I wanted very much to get to our community Bible study group's Christmas event that night. It had been seven weeks since I'd shared fellowship with them. Steve taught this group for almost two years, and they have loved us so faithfully and tenderly. I didn't want to miss being with them. But I was decidedly not ready to engage in a frolicky-fun Christmas party. I returned home from my walk, looked at my watch and plopped in the lazy boy. "Lord, you have fifteen minutes to pull me together and change my outlook, otherwise I stay home."
And God, in tender mercy, did it!
In those fifteen minutes, I picked up that grief book, read a short chapter, God gave me some insights and then to my amazement, he completely lifted the oppressive sorrow. I jumped up, made my appetizer and headed off to the party. The carol singing and fellowship and crazy elephant gift exchange (complete with shared memories of Steve and his competitiveness at previous exchanges!) kept my spirit smiling. I didn't frolic, but this loving group, who also misses Steve, drew me into the joy of the season.
